I find that I am suddenly at my most confident now that my clothes are not exactly fitting well. This odd phenomenon brought about by my pregnancy has thrown my body image concept into a whole new level.
With the exception of my more Latina than Asian-sized and shaped rear--the bane of my existence beginning my teenage years--I am enjoying flaunting the curves I now have.
"I am not fat, world, I am pregnant."
The self-consciousness brought on in the past by the head to toe looks these gods and goddesses (not!) of physique no longer bother me. And I've decided not to let it bother me even after giving birth, no matter how long it may take me to lose the baby weight. I'll simply bask in the exhilaration of being told how gorgeous I am even when I'm not at my idea of aesthetically pleasing. I'd been given those comments before anyway, even during those days when I felt I looked my worst. (Thank you, Missha Perfect Cover BB Cream and MAC Cosmetics Studio Fix Powder + Foundation!)
I feel truly blessed to have had such an easy first time. I'd always conditioned myself to expect the worst--and even then, when worst case moments happen, I get shocked--but so far, things have gone quite well and none of my horror scenarios have occurred at all.
This is probably what has contributed the most to my sense of well-being these past months. It wasn't smooth sailing, please do not assume that. I have gone through a great deal of stress too and not all of it was directly related to pregnancy. There were tears and fights though they were generally and largely outweighed by a sense of peace and optimism that I'd never really felt in myself before.
It has been quite the change both inside and outside and somehow I feel that this has only proven my theory on feeling good about myself was correct: that, in my case, I ought really be working on the outside and inside at the same time.
I still do not look my best. My bum's still too big, I have skin imperfections, and I just found out that I am two pounds over what I ought to weigh. But I feel great in my skin and I have never felt more beautiful. And I think that's the most important thing of all.