Saturday 18 February 2012

Busy Bee

We are back to that again, yes. I am losing yet another weekend to work-related activities.

Mind, this is not precisely a complaint; it is a mere statement of fact.

Beautiful as these are, I am very grateful that we will have
none of that this weekend. ^^; I'm too ill to have to worry
about the possibility of dealing with frogs.
It is what makes the very thought of the sacrifices made for another project nearly unbearable if I consider what ingrates we worked with then. But as always, we trust in the Lord's wisdom and just let God's plan unfold as time passes.

Despite everything, going through all that was a beautiful lesson and taught us...taught me...so much about human nature and myself. I know how far I can allow myself to be pushed, what it takes to really spark my ire, and how long it takes for me to fully forgive.

I have not yet done the latter but perhaps this weekend can serve, too, as my time to break those bonds.

I feel like the past year has been spent catching up with the time I "lost" in the years prior. Allow me to clarify that I do not regret those years at all. It's been my policy since I was fifteen to never regret anything that went wrong in my life but to learn from them and keep moving forward. So no, I don't regret the "lost time," I am merely pointing out that there were things that I could have handled better but had to learn the hard way how to.

Anyway, enough about that and on to happier things.

This made me laugh when I saw it. Kind of appropriate
for my current mental state too.
I'm slowly getting back into the groove of having my week fill up even before it's started and I'm quite happy about that. True, there are a ton of things I need and want to do still around the house but I can get there slowly. I've never rushed myself in these kinds of things and I don't intend to now.

That we're going into spring (despite there being no actual spring in this country) has prompted further inspiration to go into spring cleaning mode which I've been at for as long as anyone can remember.

The image on the left is a good reminder for me, though in my typical strange, convoluted way of thinking. I've never been much into gardening but I know the basic concepts, particularly in plant care where one must be conscious about pruning and such.

I'd like to think of what I'm doing now, growing up and all, as caring for a garden. I have to pull out the weeds so they don't drown out the plants and plants will thrive better if I prune them regularly. Or something like that.

Ah, suddenly the plant analogy just stops working, just dead cold stops working, haha.

Point being I've said before that I'm taking this opportunity to really step back and examine my life and myself. It's the point of no more excuses, no more whining the way I used to. It's time to suck in and really push myself to be more open to learning after all, I may soon have little ones I'll need to teach and I can't very well lead them blindly.

So now it's out with all the junk in my life. I told myself I'd be taking myself more seriously and I started on that last year. I still have a ways to go but as long as I don't stop, I'll be okay.


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