Friday, 20 January 2012

Why should one take precedence over the other?

I've been cleaning up on various levels, from clothing, books, rooms, computer documents, you name it.

While going over my browser bookmarks--you know how those things pile up over time--I saw a list of suggested items for seasonal cosmetic transitions. I thought immediately about blogging it but then I said to myself, "This blog isn't the proper channel for that."

But then, again, why not?

One of the funniest marriage-related quotes I've heard comes from the movie "The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement," where Mia's mother Helen tells Mia, "Being married is about being yourself, only with someone else."

If you've watched the movie, you'll know why it's funny. If you haven't, I'll do my best to describe it.

It is my duty to warn you that there will be spoilers after the cut.

This is the point where Mia has decided to marry Andrew Jacoby anyway, even though she has started realising that she's actually in love with Nicholas Devereaux. You don't really know if her mother is even really aware that she is doing this out of duty and not anything else. (This fact may be different in the books, but I didn't like the books so we'll go with the movie.)

So, to add to the already tense and nervous bride's thoughts, here comes her mother spouting what must have felt, at the moment, the most ridiculous, cryptic words, when all she could think of was "I'm marrying a man I don't love."

Taking the line out of that situation though, it makes quite a great deal of sense.

Getting married doesn't mean you stop growing and learning. In fact, you must both keep learning and growing as individuals and as a couple. We know and understand each other having been friends for so long, but as the days go on, it's true that there's always something more to discover about each other. Why and how the habits that we have were developed, for example, and things from our vastly different upbringing--the fact alone that he had siblings and is the eldest and only male while I have no siblings and am female already speaks volumes culturally--that we want to bring into how we'll rear our own offspring.

As an individual, I'd been content to appear the cantankerous little monster to most people, allowing only a handful to get past that wall. It wasn't until recently that I decided perhaps pulling the wall down wouldn't be so bad...

Having said that, I've been working on this self-make-over for a little over a year now. In that time I realised perhaps I'm going about it a little oddly. The thing is it feels so compartmentalised to look better on the outside to reflect the beauty inside or to cling stubbornly to "It's what's inside that counts."

Working on both sides simultaneously makes so much sense to me:
  • Learning more about the things I want for myself, for my family, and out of life in general has slowly changed how I carry myself and how comfortable I am being the way I am.
  • Primping perks me up when I'm feeling off and because it perks me up, I tend to smile more and be more pleasant.
I suppose one could argue that it's a mere cycle, the whole conundrum of day and night, chicken and egg. But applied practically, it's more than that and it's funny how the culture I live in tends to value one over the other and it's usually the outside they choose. It speaks very poorly of the local mindset, in my opinion.


I figured I'm blogging here already, I might as well put it all down here, right?

So here we go. Me being a wife, doing all those domestic-y things one would expect, and growing up and learning. And being me with someone else, getting better like wine, if occasionally mouldy like cheese. ^_~

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