Balancing Act (There is no "one or the other" Part II)

Some of our pets are misbehaving and I claim full responsibility for their atrocious behavior.

When I told them they were about to have a two-legged new sibling, I did not count on how much of my time and energy would go into caring for a tiny human being. Well, not so tiny now that he's approaching his third month. Nor did I anticipate that my four-legged children expected things would be the same, just as though another four-legged sibling had arrived.

The ones I reared from their first/second month of kitten-/puppy-hood were the hardest hit. Thankfully, all four who are most attached to me have decided to take it upon themselves to be my sons co-caregivers. I can't say this has always been helpful with the exception of Kuro's penchant for infant foot warming. Baxter's tongue has been warned to stay away from the baby's feet and Yuki tersely informed that the new brother is not a toy. As for Kaito, I am only too glad he finds it sufficient to be allowed to sleep two feet from where we rest during the day. The others I reared or co-reared with the dogs can't care less as long as they are given their daily dose of stroking.

When dealing with perpetual toddlers one must employ a great deal of patience and understanding. I did realize that the method employed by local actor, Ryan Agoncillo with his wife's adopted child works well with cats and dogs too.

So in case it might work for others out there, struggling to parent cats, dogs, an humans, here are the things we have learned so far:

1. Give them "titles". No need to get fancy: simply calling them babysitters usually works well. In our case, we have the upstairs sitters (the cats) and downstairs sitters (the dogs). They automatically set their own boundaries. All you need think of is to remind them that, because their role is so important, they MUST behave properly.

2. The parent whose attention is not on the human child should spend quality time with the non-human ones. Give them the hugs and cuddles they are accustomed to receiving. And then give them extra hugs and cuddles. A food treat or two helps a lot too.

3. Allow them (heavily guarded) time with the human child. Let them sniff the feet--the safest end of a defenseless infant for them to inspect. Then gently remind them the baby is too small or young for them to do more than just that. A tap on the nose is enough to ward off attempts to sniff higher.

4. Give them privileges. Yuki, for example, always has time alone with me when I am about to bathe. I call her to join me I the bathroom and we spend five minutes just tossing around her empty toilet paper roll.

These pets ask for so little that I would not feel any ounce of remorse should I shame a parent to two- and four-legged children for neglecting one for the other. As it is, I already feel guilt for my inability to give them as much time as I'd like. But they seem to understand and are coping because they have a very important secret weapon:

They know they are loved and wanted. No matter what.

Month Two: For better and worse

The frantic cries are now accompanied by salty little waterfalls and when that happens it feels like we can't respond fast enough.

But most times he is content, regarding his surroundings with what seems a contemplative silence. Other times we are rewarded with cheery gurgles, his goat-like laughter, and a toothless grin.

The Unexpected

Perhaps this ought to be linked with my "not in the books" posts but you know what, it feels good enough to let it stand alone.

And so, this is the way it is. My personal list of things I never would have believed of I didn't go through it myself.

Month One: We survived!

I officially firmly believe that this is the reason why there are parents who constantly post photos commemorating every single little thing their children do: it's a sign of survival.

Believe me, if I didn't think it would be crazy, I would do the same thing.

To speak of every little detail and take commemorative images of my son's first everything is like telling the world: I'm here! I was able to survive what I thought to be impossible to get out of alive!

The most demanding boss

I've honestly never had a boss, so this is new to me, completely new.

My work hours are so erratic I can't say definitively when I can take my meals. And when I do, I have to eat like a turkey: gobble gobble gobble. Sometimes I don't remember chewing or breathing between bites.

His fair share

I feel it must be said, too, that my husband has also grown and changed by leaps and bounds these past weeks.

He is no longer just a husband but is coming into his own as a father the same way I am becoming a mother.

Wife to Wife and Mother

Thursdays, I said, are about journeys and I am three weeks into my journey towards motherhood.

I say "towards" because although I am already a mother by virtue of having given birth to offspring, I have much to learn still about being a parent. I've presented my ideals and ideas how I do and don't want to go about things. Nothing is fixed though and theory shan't always be effective in practice. I'm prepared to accept that too.

My son

He is almost three weeks old.

He continues to make me paranoid over whether or not I'm doing the right things.

I constantly wonder what he's thinking and how he's feeling.

There is no "one or the other"

...and I find it deeply offensive to be told I must--take note, MUST--choose between my son and fur babies. That may be the way in other families and I will not condemn you for that. Much*. But to tell me to do the same is unacceptable.

This Mother's Job

No, I am not throwing jabs at mothers who work outside the home. Let's get that thought out of the way now. My own mother worked outside the home. I know what it was like for her and what it was like for me as a child.

This is purely and solely about me and my experience thus far.