Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Month Two: For better and worse

The frantic cries are now accompanied by salty little waterfalls and when that happens it feels like we can't respond fast enough.

But most times he is content, regarding his surroundings with what seems a contemplative silence. Other times we are rewarded with cheery gurgles, his goat-like laughter, and a toothless grin.

I thought I was tired before. I am exhausted beyond belief now. It has gotten to the point where I just sink down on the floor of the shower and cry. There is no shame in admitting this; believe me, pregnancy and motherhood have both taught me the importance of letting the waterfall loose. I read somewhere that it releases extra hormones that can't make a faster exit any other way. I'm rather high strung so this is quite the discovery and a solution far cheaper than a shrink especially when I find I'm coping anyway.

We have learned most of his cues for each need and his preferences. Sometimes this changes each day and they get rather strange, funny, even a little annoying some times.

My favourite has got to be the discovery of his fist and how he stuffs a thumb or finger alternately in his mouth as though to check which best to self-soothe with. I'm rather keen for him to learn that so I can share pacifying duties with his hand.

This week he has discovered how much fun it is to use Mama as bed. I have been able to write this entry as a result; he wakes me every hour for a feed and pacifying. I, meantime, have a headache, my back hurts, and my arms have each had a turn playing bolster pillow. Have I mentioned this incredible hunger and need for a run to the bathroom?

Oh I know I assigned today as "Work Wednesday" and yes, no matter the arguments to either side, I consider this work and I consider it very hard work, comparable to any hard work that can be imagined. I blogged before about having a demanding boss; he has been upgraded to demanding AND needy. As is typical of his age.

I'll complain every now and then. But I love every minute of it.

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