Friday, 30 October 2015

Human Again

Please tell me I'm not the only mother who's felt this way!

WARNING: Early cut because what follows could be considered too much information (TMI) for some readers. I'm giving you this chance to leave this entry now.

When Llew was born, my amniotic sac burst early and I wasn't allowed to get up for anything because of the leaking fluid. It took nearly 24 hours of lying in bed with a mattress pad underneath my back before he was born and I stayed in my hospital gown for two and a half days before I could find it in myself to get up and bathe. It's not that the nurses hadn't cleaned me up or anything but let's face it: a quick bath is still better than a good wipe down. It's far more refreshing especially after feeling all that fluid leaking out and going all over the place. Okay, that last remark was an exaggeration but that's certainly what it felt like.

When Kian was born, it was just slightly less eventful and definitely dryer. I felt no real need to push myself past the pain of my episiotomy stitches to bathe but what I was sure of as I prepared to go to the hospital was that I wanted to look good so that I wouldn't look as tired as I felt.

It's been nearly a month since I gave birth and now I'm doing a little bit more than just bathing to keep myself clean. I'm finally at that point where I've found it in myself to put in the effort to look better than "I woke up like this."

First I've spoken over and over about the new nursing clothes I've got. My next step is to retrain myself to make my complexion better again by going back to my normal cleansing routine. Well, my improved cleansing routine, hahaha. After that, my long-suffering collection of makeup will be put back into regular use.

Again, day at a time, day at a time. And as a friend has been known to say, "Living and loving life!"

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