Monday 31 August 2015

Sleepless

These have not been the most comfortable of nights.

In addition to going through a little bit of a rough patch with some people over the weekend, this last month of pregnancy has not been the most comfortable either. It is strange; I do not recall my last months with my eldest being this difficult or uncomfortable. Then again, each pregnancy is as individual as the resulting child.

As of my last check-up, we are still in breech position. This terrifies me because if Sid does not turn in time, I will be going under the knife. Though I'd declared that if our second child is a girl I'm okay with being done with childbearing, my husband definitely still wants a third whether our second is a girl or a boy. Going under the knife for a Caesarean section this time around will mean an increased chance of going through that again since going for a vaginal birth after having a C-section can be tricky.

But let's get that out of the way for now and move on to other things.

While my nights have not been the most comfortable, they certainly have been highly amusing. Llew has begun the habit of lifting my shirt to expose my belly that he may spend some skin to skin time with my occupied-by-an-alien-trying-to-break-free belly. (I swear if it weren't so weird, I would share how amazingly alien-like this next kid's movements are!) He hugs and kisses my belly, smiling brightly and saying, "Baby!" Of course, I also suspect my son of having an ulterior motive.

To be fair, I did promise him although I have no idea how he can possibly have understood what I said.

While there were mothers who managed to continue breastfeeding throughout their entire pregnancy, I am among those who did not. I just really couldn't stand it and didn't want to plow through it because it made me so uncomfortable, tainting the whole breastfeeding experience with a great deal of negativity on my part.

I didn't quite force him to wean though I typically use the term when describing our weaning period. I cajoled him constantly to accept cuddles instead of latching for an entire month, although by the time I started to, he was already showing signs of preparing to wean. And then the magic words that made him stop completely:

"I promise to let you breastfeed alongside your new sibling."

I don't know. I don't know why he understood what that meant but somehow, he did. He understood and he stopped. And settled for cuddles. Lots of cuddles and kisses, and demanding I always have him wrapped tightly in my arms whenever it's time for bed.

That was the promise and now I think he's looking forward to collecting.

Boy oh boy. I find myself now studying other mothers who have tandem fed a toddler and a newborn. How did they handle it? Was the exhaustion the same or worse? What about the quality of the milk? What about the quantity of the milk?

As it is, I've been worrying about how he will take to his new sibling. I've been preparing myself for the worst possible reactions just so I am already equipped and informed on how other parents have handled it, hoping that their stories will provide insight and assistance. And to think they'll be sharing something that he used to have only to himself!

Anyone out there have further thoughts on this?



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