Sleepless

These have not been the most comfortable of nights.

In addition to going through a little bit of a rough patch with some people over the weekend, this last month of pregnancy has not been the most comfortable either. It is strange; I do not recall my last months with my eldest being this difficult or uncomfortable. Then again, each pregnancy is as individual as the resulting child.

As of my last check-up, we are still in breech position. This terrifies me because if Sid does not turn in time, I will be going under the knife. Though I'd declared that if our second child is a girl I'm okay with being done with childbearing, my husband definitely still wants a third whether our second is a girl or a boy. Going under the knife for a Caesarean section this time around will mean an increased chance of going through that again since going for a vaginal birth after having a C-section can be tricky.

But let's get that out of the way for now and move on to other things.

Why I breastfed (and will breastfeed again) boldly Part III

Note: This post was inspired by this article on GoBreastfeed.com.

This is not the best article covering the subject but this is exactly the picture that inspired me to go ahead and breastfeed boldly: Selma Blair--Very Public Breastfeeding.

It was a light bulb, cue angels singing "Hallelujah", and a bright white spot light shining overhead.

Why not?

Because if that is what breastfeeding without a cover looks like, then geez, no one's going to see anything unless they stare long enough. And that would be rude.

And that became my mantra when I shunned (to my son's delight and comfort) covering up: If you see anything offensive about me breastfeeding my child, you've been staring too long and should move on.

Why I breastfed (and will breastfeed again) boldly Part II

Note: This post was inspired by this article on GoBreastfeed.com.

I look back now and I realise that the challenges I thought I was facing then weren't really challenges at all. Hence ending last week's entry with quotation marks.

Remember I said that I didn't attend any classes to prepare myself for motherhood. Yes, that is the hubris brought on by my way of thinking: there were no parenting classes in the old days. I can do this!

Yes, I am a big fan of winging it.

I remained confident in my ability to feed my child when diaper after diaper was filled and changed. The Drs. Sears were an excellent reference and my husband's cousin pointed me to a local Facebook group for breastfeeding mothers called Breastfeeding Pinays, reducing points for stressing further. We were winging it and we were flying--at least for the first six weeks.

Why I breastfed (and will breastfeed again) boldly Part I

Note: This post was inspired by this article on GoBreastfeed.com.

I am a breastfeeding mom and proud of it.

Or at least, I was a breastfeeding mom until I had to wean my son early this year.

I never knew there was such a big to-do over breastfeeding until I made the choice to breastfeed my eldest. True, I was not a breastfed child; there were multiple complications that prevented my mother from doing so. But when I found out I was about to become a mother myself, there was no hesitation: I was determined to breastfeed my baby.

Milk Mama Diaries: Breastfeeding and Beyond

Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (August). For this month, we write about the World Breastfeeding Week 2014 - Breastfeeding: A Winning Goal for Life and share how breastfeeding can help the Philippines achieve the 8 Millennium Development Goals developed by the government and the United Nations. Participants will share their thoughts, experiences, hopes and suggestions on the topic. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of carnival entries.

For the record, this is my sixth revision. I wasn't, and I still am not, sure if I could even properly express my thoughts on some of the topics that came up for this year's blog carnival. But I thought I'd give it a try anyway these three are actually significant to my own journey.

I was not breastfed. My mother had me via C-section and had to be kept in the maternity hospital for a full month due to infections. There I received formula: a cow's milk-based one that caused angry red rashes wherever it touched my skin. But I can tell you with a straight face that this had absolutely nothing to do with my decision to breastfeed.

The truth is, I'm unsure of how I developed the idea that breastfeeding is the most natural thing for mothers to do. Like breathing. Like blinking. Breastfeeding and formula feeding both always seemed completely normal to me, but eventually, I decided that formulas are the back up plan. Breastfeeding is the ideal plan.

Now that I'm a mom I realise that the ability to breastfeed an infant is quite possibly the most important life hack nature provided.

My closest friends know that my idea of being a wife and mother is heavily based on the whole 50s concept of perfection. Modernized, of course, to include my having a career besides being a wife and mother. And this is where I began.

I could have stressed myself out over the amount of information I suddenly felt I had to consider. Bottles, pumps, bags, storage...it was a lot to take in. I will always unabashedly credit Jenny Ong of Chronicles of a Nursing Mom for easing me through all the bits and pieces of new knowledge, but my son (and any future children) has his Auntie Tatiana to thank for giving me the most unusually encouraging words I heard prior to giving birth:

"Don't sweat it if you aren't able to breastfeed your baby. It will not make you any less of a mom or a woman."

Those most matter-of-fact, absolutely honest, and completely pressure-free words made me feel completely reassured that failing at this motherhood goal I set for myself would not result in a cataclysmic world's end. It reminded me to relax and just take that first journey step. Consequently, I have been successfully breastfeeding my son for 20 months.

It is a very empowering feeling, succeeding in a goal I set for myself. Even more powerful than this check mark on my list is that I've witnessed how well the milk I am providing has shielded my son from a wide variety of viral attacks my family has gone through in the past year and a half. In fact, when my son finally succumbed to a bout with the cold virus, he recovered in two days--after which, he transferred the virus to my mom who had to suffer through the viral attack for two weeks. I have to say that seeing this happen has made me feel like a superhero.

Self-image improved? Definitely a yes! I may not be too proud of the state of my physical fitness--I've lost and regained the 20 odd pounds I put on during pregnancy--but it is a matter of pride for me that I am able to do this for my baby. And yes, despite the prudery involved in seeing a naked breast, this sense of accomplishment has since led me to unabashedly nurse my son with or without a cover anytime, anywhere.

This has also led me to consider myself among the lucky ones who did not have to go through the horrors of searching for the perfect combination of formula, bottle, and nipple. Oh the horror stories friends who formula-fed shared with me!

See, economy isn't just about money spent, in my opinion. It's also about the time spent doing what needs to be done. Before giving birth, here's how I imagined formula feeding my baby would be like:

1. Buy cans of formula enough for approximately a month and a half's worth of feeding. Just in case the grocery runs out or I am unable to immediately restock.

2. Buy bottles and test run countless types of nipples and nipple brushes to make sure my baby is comfortable with his feeding bottle and the teats are durable and won't give him gas.

3. Prepare sterlized water every single day and make sure all feeding bottles are thoroughly cleaned and sterilized, ready for use.

4. Measure out formula per feeding.

5. Mix formula every feeding time.

6. Buy a gargantuan diaper bag that will fit a day's worth of diapers plus a day's worth of bottles. And carry it around every time we go out, which is quite often since my husband and I are involved in real estate.

7. Make sure I have spare nipples just in case the bottle is dropped on the ground somewhere.

8. Have a minor panic attack if in case we run out of clean bottles or formula powder and we're on the road.

9. Figure out where we can settle down so I can mix formula comfortably while baby is distracted by something and will not wail and whine for me to hurry up.

10. At night, make sure all items are easily accessible and ready for night feedings.

This may or may not be true for everyone and frankly, I could very well have missed an item here and there. But the very thought of having to go through this every single day terrified and horrified me. I imagined myself breastfeeding, however, the image felt so easy and picture perfect:

1. Baby cries.

2. Bring out breast, allow baby to suckle.

3. Proceed with regularly scheduled program.

4. At night, bring out breast, allow baby to suckle, go back to sleep.

I am not dismissing the health benefits here, mind. I have always been aware of the health benefits of breastfeeding. This second consideration was all about economy and lifestyle. I wanted a calm and relaxed way to go about the daily feeding routine despite constantly being on the road.

The final point of consideration is one that occurred to me only after I began breastfeeding. It seems to me such a strange and solemn way to end this thought train but ultimately, it's the one that I feel has the greatest impact of all.

A trip to the grocery store says it all: boxes and cans of various sizes filled with foil-packed formula. But I'm not really thinking of the damage producing such packaging does to the environment.

That formula that very likely started out in a test tube in some laboratory after being extracted from a nursing mother, one with four legs, and heated, given additives, refined, and very likely, tested on another four-legged animal, maybe a rat. Taking just one sample, at least two other lives that were disrupted just so we can have better formulas to feed human children.

I am fully aware that not all mothers are as fortunate as I am that I am able to breastfeed my child. But there was once a time when human milk was given to human children (in ancient tribes, mothers who could not produce their own milk were kindly helped out by mothers who could) and animal milk stayed within same species circles. How strange that we have this concept of a "global community" when we've lost such a basic sense of a what a community started out as: a group of people helping and supporting each other?

I've seen this happen in the breastfeeding community I am part of online. Mothers having trouble with their supply have reached out to other mothers for help and it was quickly given. In a way, beyond the idea that breastfeeding is a zero-waste source of food, I've since learned that breastfeeding might eventually become a way for us to reconnect with each other as people.

Maybe.

Here are many thoughts and reasons why we should all advocate for mothers to breastfeed for the first 1,000 days of life #BF1st1000days

Jenny shares experiencing the One Asia Breastfeeding Forum

Mec insists to do the Math and breastfeed!

Ams, The Passionate Mom says Breastfeed for a Better Future

Pat says breastfeeding saves money and the planet

Cheryl, the Multi-Tasking Mama, tackles maternal health as addressed by breastfeeding

2011 CNN Hero Ibu Robin highlights gentle births and breasfeeding, even in disaster zones

Felyn stresses that Healthy Moms = Healthy Babies

Monique reminds us that there are second chances in breastfeeding

Normi relates how breastfeeding gave her strength and purpose

Nats thanks Dr. Jack Newman for showing how breastfeeding can be a win-win situation

Em believes breastfeeding is a solution to societal problems

Marge shares what breastfeeding has taught them

Kaity was empowered financially and as a woman through breastfeeding

Madel relates her breastfeeding saga

Jen of Next9 reminds us to do our research and share what we know

Celerhina Aubrey vows to work on one mother at a time

Grace wants to put an end to stories of toasted coffee and similar stuff over breast milk

Diane shares how she prevailed when things did not go according to plan

Hazel appreciates mommy support groups

Roan combines two passions, breastfeeding and architecture

Queenie tackled breastfeeding as the best choice for the environment as well and breastfeeding myths and poverty

Rosa shares how the picture she thought of was realized

Sally believes breastfeeding benefits mankind and our planet Earth

Floraine reminds us that breastfeeding helps combat diseases

Crislyn was happy to realize that she improved her own health by breastfeeding

Armi reminds us how breastfeeding during emergencies is crucial

Arvi tells us how breastfeeding made her look at her body a different way

Clarice elaborates on how breastfeeding saves lives and the planet

Giane reminds us that women empowerment can begin by seeing breastfeeding as more than a feeding issue

Liza thought she was only breastfeeding for her child

Feed anywhere versus finding the breastfeeding station

Just a quick one and no, no photos because I have no memory left for photos!

I am a feed anywhere breastfeeding mom. My baby gets hungry, I cover up with my nursing cover, bring out the boob and let him latch. Wherever I might be.

Oh but today I had to make the effort. Why? Noisy mall weekend and there were so many people at the food court, the air conditioning barely made a dent in heat reduction. My little dragon was so sweaty he left a wet spot on the carrier's head rest.

So we went in search of the family lounge where, I was told, a very comfortable breastfeeding station could be found.

They were not kidding! A swivel, winged armchair, a footstool, and best of all, both were in a roomy private cubicle. Very posh, in my opinion. And the lights are set off by motion sensors--hands-free, ladies!

So if you are ever in the neck of the woods known as TriNoMa, give yourself and your little one a treat. Breastfeed in the Breastfeeding Station. It's quiet, private, and COLD. Very, very comfy.

The Breastfeeding Station is located inside the Family Lounge on the 3rd level of TriNoMa, beside Sony.

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This post was brought to you by Tegwyn, my beloved iPhone.