Mommy Brain

Here's how it works:

I am focused so completely on my son that I think of nothing else.

Then I realise I need to take care of loads other things.

And then I go back to focusing on my son.

An entire year of this has driven me crazy. Not a particularly bad crazy but the kind of crazy that needs at least an hour of me time and a dose of primping every day. I kid you not.

I chose to be a SAHM (stay at home mom), make no mistake about that. I am not good at hiring the right people and judging someone based on a resume is just not enough. I do not have the confidence that I can hire the right person to care for my son when I have failed several times over to find the right person to clean our house and care for my cats and dogs. I can only thank the Lord that it has never happened that any harm came to us beyond theft of material possessions.

Clearly this disqualifies me from hiring a nanny at this point though I do realise and accept that we will need to hire one in the future when we decide to add to the brood.

I am so glad that now I can let my son run somewhat loose around the house. "Somewhat" because there are still places and things he is not allowed to handle. But we try to manage and adjust because my mommy brain is starting to short circuit.

I see so many things that need cleaning, fixing, and organizing. I see things worth salvaging for crafting and things that are in want of upcycling.

I see our sole helper moving at a glacial pace and need to get things done more efficiently because while I am grateful for her presence, I see things left not done or not done right. But she cooks and occasionally dotes on my four-footed kids. That is a definite gold star in my book. Two gold stars, even.

There is nothing wrong inherently with this mommy brain I whine about but it also seems to be hardwired to create an envoronment I failed to finish providing during my nesting phase. So we have an extension.

My mommy brain wants it all to be as clean and organised an environment for my kid(s) as it was for me.

And my mommy brain wants a little bit of time out.

So together, we seek out these little projects. We take breaks when the little one calls for milk and cuddles and play time. We keep trying to get things done and we do get them done some times. And at night, we get a good night's sleep knowing we completed another step going towards that goal: keeping mommy brain healthy.

Starting my birth month right

More and more mums are finally admitting that motherhood is not easy. At all.

We all know this and we all accept it but it never becomes as real as when you are actually there. In those shoes.

I am appalled that my last blog was in January when I swore I would blog often so my children can see their mother as a human being. Well, suppose the blog silence says it all.

BUT.

Busier mums have accomplished what I have failed at. Regular blogging, that is. This time, in my 32nd year, I want to make that happen. This is my year of owning it, so to speak. And own it, I shall.

My goal this year 2014-2015 is to be fabulous. I want to be that fabulous mum. It doesn't have to be Tessa Prieto-Valdes fabulous, but I do want that.

My first step has been simple: look the part. While my style has a lot of room for improvement, I've been learning one easy way to make me feel great and that is, makeup. In fact, that has been the core of my Fab Friday blogs. My collection has grown and changed since my last makeup posts.

I realised though, via a series of rather strange circumstances that happened today, that there is one major step I missed. I have been so busy with my baby, I totally, utterly let myself go.

Mothers don't get holidays, it's true. Which is why we need to declare such things for ourselves. I need to love and pamper myself as much as I dote on my son. And part of that pampering is to love my new body as it is now.

I was never the skinny girl. I am curvy--always have been and always will be. There is nothing wrong with this. I was always insecure of the fact though. I valued skinny so much because I felt it was the most aesthetically balanced look. But getting a waistline that has grown from 27" to 32" and realising my bum has gained about 8" did something to me. I cracked. I looked at my clothes and just cracked.

I cannot dress like I used to and that was depressing.

But this year I am changing my mindset. I will get fit but on the road to the body I want, I will love myself and give myself more love than I always did.

I started today. I aim to keep at it until I get to that point where my health becomes the reason for my mad race to lose weight, rather than my aesthetic ideal.

To day one of owning fabulous!

One year. Really?

I remember feeling the same way in August when I marvelled at the fact that my last blog entry was in July. Today I'm recognizing the fact it's been a year since I became a mom.

It has been a very difficult year. Growing as a couple is made doubly (at least!) hard with a child. Chances to discuss the day's events, plans, etc. are cut short constantly or put on hold indefinitely. Nearly everything revolves around the baby. We have been very fortunate to have friends who still have us over even when we have "extra baggage" in tow.

Product Review: Three weeks of using the Pigeon Sakura line

FULL DISCLOSURE: I was given these items to test for free. I was actually surprised by the product size, expecting smaller bottles of each. The samples I received are probably worth a month of daily use--very generous of them, I must say.

So last week I posted my initial thoughts on the use of this new line of products from Pigeon:

I haven't started on the powder yet and now that I think of it, by the time it makes sense to use powder, he may be old enough for me to feel more confident about putting powder on his back, at least, to help with sweat management.

Anyway.

The lotion is halfway out. We use that much, yes. Why? Because I personally prefer to use lotion instead of a rash cream. It's lighter, easily absorbed, and let's face it: not all rash creams are compatible with modern cloth diapers and what we are treating is a specific type of allergy, not a rash per se.

I said to myself, when I got started on this review series that I would not compare and contrast. However, I have used three different products on my son's atopic dermatitis and here are the results--no photos, simply my reflections on each:

INDIGO JAR OF HOPE: This healed his large red patches in two to three days, getting rid of the raw and red bits of skin, and preventing him from scratching. It didn't make the patch disappear, but it allowed the skin gradual renewal.

HUMAN NATURE BABY LOTION: A slightly lighter formulation compared to its original, this is what helped maintain the moisture levels already corrected by the Jar of Hope. It worked well for several months until the weather changed and became cooler.

Enter the PIGEON BABY MILKY LOTION: Creamy but easily absorbed, and heavy enough for the cold days when he needs moisture locking the most. I have been using it steadily all over his body and it worked wonderfully as far as preventing further dry patches and the one on his thigh has almost completely vanished. Brilliant.

I've noticed, however, that the scent and his sweat do not mesh well. It doesn't smell bad but it is not quite that milky baby scent I've grown accustomed to, my son being purely breastfed up to now when he's begun taking solids. Aside from the lack of assurance that their products are cruelty-free* this is another point of contention that has come out of our near one month of use.

Is the Sakura infusion effective? I believe it is. I have no personal research done on it at the moment but their claims have been quite accurate from my experience. My son has extremely sensitive skin and their product has risen to the occasion and restored the smoothness of his skin.

Will I use it again? As I said before, perhaps I will if I'm completely out of our regular product. Going cruelty-free is important to me but if I do not find a cruelty-free equivalent, yes, I might consider going back to this product if only to prevent my son's allergies from getting worse.

Will I recommend it to friends? A more resounding yes now more than before. With full disclosure on how I came across the line.

Product Review: Pigeon's new Sakura-infused line

FULL DISCLOSURE: I was given these items to test for free. I was actually surprised by the product size, expecting smaller bottles of each. The samples I received are probably worth a month of daily use--very generous of them, I must say.

Straight off, I will be honest and say I am unlikely to use the powder on my son. I haven't read enough evidence on the amount of talc that is safe for children and just having warnings on talc inhalation is enough to scare me off it. I'll review it separately as I intend to use it on myself.

So out of the remaining three, two have been opened.

First was the lotion.

What I absolutely love is the scent. Lingers for at least two hours after application, and that is with a child who sweats a great deal. It is a huge bonus that, for a creamy lotion, it is light enough to be quickly absorbed whether the child's skin is damp or dry.

My son suffers from atopic dermatitis (http://www.medicinenet.com/atopic_dermatitis/article.htm) and our cure for that is simply to hydrate inside and out. The lotion helped improve his skin texture by a lot, stopping him from getting the urge to constantly scratch. You can just barely see the redness too.

Second product was the 2-in-1 baby wash. The scent isn't as heavenly as the lotion but the scent is relaxing anyway. The wash is clear--and no colorant means less source of skin irritant. What I love most is that the lather is very light which means it rinses off easily and the formula is no tears too. Bonus points that it comes in the pump bottle that it does. First, because it can be locked, second, I was able to bathe my son by myself and the large base of the packaging plus the pump made it so much easier to get the product out with one hand.

Will I use these again? Perhaps if I ran out of our regular product. While I do not condemn those who don't go the cruelty-free route, it is my personal choice to go cruelty-free for certain items. These product types are among the ones I prefer to be cruelty-free.

Will I recommend this to friends? Oh definitely. We have and have used other Pigeon products and I find them to be of excellent quality. One particular item needs an upgrade though. I think I'll keep up the reviews to cover that one.

No photos but...

Okay, admittedly this is probably not the best time to post anything of the sort but I need to think of something that makes me feel good and this did the trick.

To help support my ginormous belly, I wore loads of "granny undies" during pregnancy. They didn't wear out easily so I continued wearing them well past pregnancy.

They weren't kidding when they said underwear does a lot for a person's confidence.

No, this will not be a TMI post. It will graze the surface of it though.

I don't know about you out there but I like to feel good. Sometimes, feeling good comes in the guise of pretty underthings. No one else ever sees them--except on the line, usually--but knowing what's under my clothes is just as cute as my outer wear makes me feel good.

With my son almost a year old, I decided it's time for pretty undies. So I got them. And I feel hotter than Heidi Klum. Just...shorter and with more fat. ;)

In the wake of Haiyan in the Philippines

A friend compiled this list on his blog. Those who wish to help can do so via these channels.

I honestly believe more in these individual organizations than routing through government bodies.

Thank you, Mikael, for making this entry.

http://thekairu.wordpress.com/2013/11/11/typhoon-yolanda-how-we-can-help-because-crying-about-it-certainly-wont/

Making it all work

Today we made a rather impulsive but we believe soundly-judged decision to purchase a condominium. To rent out, not for us to live in.

I confessed to the husband that its not quite up to par with what I like in terms of workmanship but the income is necessary at this point and that would give us what we need. We've been guided throughout all our choices; we have every faith that this is the direction we need to go to get to our goals for our family.

The Paradox of Time

I cannot express enough admiration for the mothers who maintain sites and blogs while caring for their little ones. I simply have no idea how they manage their time, especially with chores to do on the side.

Hello blogosphere. It's nice to see you again. Today is my Peturday so I will share something about what I have learned so far, raising pets and now my son alongside them.

 I admit that I hid from my in-laws, during the early days and months of my son, the fact that cats have indeed been sleeping by his feet and elsewhere nearby. (And if any of them know about my blog, well, now you know my secret.) My husband's family isn't as big on pets as family as we are, or at least I figured that one out based on my father-in-law's casual question while I was pregnant: "What are you going to do about your pets?"

Sorry, Dad, I formed a minor judgment about you then. I'd been receiving calls and Facebook messages about the same issue long before my pregnancy. Which allowed me to take your comment in stride, but also made me take note that there are things I cannot as readily share with you as well as things you and I are likely to disagree on.

My cats and dogs are my first children. I've posted on Facebook before that readers and followers are free to disagree and/or be insulted, but the way I see it, many things I am doing raising my son I learned from raising my pets. Though I must also confess that my pets are hardly the most behaved bunch--something we must improve on with our son.

This early my son interacts and seems to have bonded with our cats and dogs, particularly those we have declared to be his guardians. Yuki and Kuro are our regular bedmates at night and provide him excellent foot warming services. And finally, finally, finally, my eldest cat seems to have forgiven us for bringing home this little human.

It's been difficult to explain to friends and family how beneficial his early exposure is. In truth only one person of my generation has fully backed me up, knowing now important forming animal empathy is to his psychological growth and maturity.

That said, I am very happy that my son has finally been accepted by our pets. He is now as much their human as we are. They are now as much his teachers as we are and I cannot be more pleased about it.

It's a challenge though. I have repeatedly turned down/ignored calls for foster parents to rescued animals. That's the first lesson my pets have taught me: the need for balance. Cheque books and bank accounts have nothing on learning to balance on that fine line between focusing on the human baby's needs while providing the canine and feline babies with the attention they'd grown accustomed to. Something to remember for later when we have another child. Sure they understand that this noisy, needy creature is utterly helpless without me. But they need to get at least a pat on the head every day. They need personal play time. They need to know they are still special.

The second lesson, one I have not yet mastered, is the art of keen observation. See I can do this for writing purposes, but the subtleties of behavior and attitude has continued to elude me. I honestly still feel guilty for missing the signs that one old cat was declining rapidly. And I have two dogs climbing their way to an overweight pronouncement from the vet. Time management is an advanced skill that has yet to make itself known to me. Multi-tasking yes. Time management, no.

Perhaps the most important lesson so far is that bonds are strong between parent and child, whether human or animal. As I said, our cats have taken it upon themselves to watch over my son. Our dogs are his bodyguards. No one comes near our son without the dogs' okay.

I see now how it happened that my cousin's sons were so closely bonded with their parents' cats.

And someday our cats and dogs will be his first heartbreak.

Nail Party

Today is my self-imposed "Fab Friday" and I want to share my new nail candy!

This is one of the three combinations I've seen for Etude House's collection of ombre nail polishes. I chose it because it has the smallest glitter bits but to be honest, I would have wanted the pink or brown one. But children chew on parents' finger nails--or at least mine does--and large glitter particles is not part of a healthy diet.

The instructions are very simple. So simple that even a n00b like me can follow it. Note that I only discovered the English instructions after painstakingly trying to understand the drawing and bits and pieces of Korean. (I've learned their alphabet and can read the words though my vocabulary is lacking by A LOT.)

Look at that pretty nail cocktail!

I actually already have it on but failed to take step by step photos and several laundry cycles have passed. I'm giving myself another manicure over the weekend though, so I'll be sure to do a mini shoot then!

PS I bought a mattifying top coat. It's so pretty with ombre nails!