My Mom Bod

I honestly don't know at the moment what to call this post. I know what I want to talk about though, and it's basically a lead up to and somewhat part of the three-part Mommy Monday blog series I will be posting for August.

I loved looking at myself in the mirror, even as a kid. When I was around four or five years old, my mother and I would ride a jeepney* to wherever we needed to go and I enjoyed sitting behind the driver just so I could watch myself make faces in the side mirror.

By the time I was a teenager, it was a means to preen. I wasn't into makeup, at least not that much yet, but I would spend about half an hour fixing my hair before leaving the bathroom to have a spot of breakfast before school. I thought I looked great but then at some point I realised that I wasn't as visually pleasing as I thought I was.

Work Modes

These have been the busiest two months I've ever had. We went from nursing our fledgling manufacturing business from birth to toddlerhood, to negotiating new businesses that we eventually decided not to support (oh it wasn't bad news for them that we withdrew though: both businesses are currently in the process of getting off the ground and we're very happy for them), and other involvements that we've had on the back burner for some years now.

It's been an amazing and incredible ride to be out and about but now I'm gearing up to take a back seat and work from home as media support for everything we have going on. I know it will likely drive me crazy to not be able to do much or go around as often but hey, what's a mom to a newborn to do, right? I guess I'll call it my maternity leave, hahaha.

Meantime I revert back to the home base duties of creating marketing materials and posting on social media. I did get quite good at that back then. I've almost completed my new work station, having installed all my necessary programs and pass times into my new laptop. All that's left is for me to retrieve the hard drive from my old computer so I can sort out the things I need to pull out from there.

I can't say how successful this transition will be but, we will manage.

Coping with the Crazy

In the period between now and my last real activity on this blog, so much has happened and changed that to try and recapture them one by one just for documentation would be just plain silly.

So let's just go ahead and focus on today. Today and everything that is basically the result of those "lost" days.

In brief: The truth is that staying focused on my eldest gave me little to no time for myself beyond sitting somewhere and staring into nothingness. I found that I didn't really like blogging via my mobile phone or my tablet. The speed with which I needed to type so I can quickly capture my thoughts just didn't match the speed with which I could work on either unit.

So eventually, I gave up. Just quietly gave up.

I finally found enough energy to speak again

This is not to say that my days have passed quietly. It only means I have chosen to conserve as much energy as I can that I may continue as I need to.

Let me begin by saying new moms like me? We get the short end every time. Really. More experienced moms will tell you "it will pass". It. Never. Does.

Starting my birth month right

More and more mums are finally admitting that motherhood is not easy. At all.

We all know this and we all accept it but it never becomes as real as when you are actually there. In those shoes.

I am appalled that my last blog was in January when I swore I would blog often so my children can see their mother as a human being. Well, suppose the blog silence says it all.

BUT.

Busier mums have accomplished what I have failed at. Regular blogging, that is. This time, in my 32nd year, I want to make that happen. This is my year of owning it, so to speak. And own it, I shall.

My goal this year 2014-2015 is to be fabulous. I want to be that fabulous mum. It doesn't have to be Tessa Prieto-Valdes fabulous, but I do want that.

My first step has been simple: look the part. While my style has a lot of room for improvement, I've been learning one easy way to make me feel great and that is, makeup. In fact, that has been the core of my Fab Friday blogs. My collection has grown and changed since my last makeup posts.

I realised though, via a series of rather strange circumstances that happened today, that there is one major step I missed. I have been so busy with my baby, I totally, utterly let myself go.

Mothers don't get holidays, it's true. Which is why we need to declare such things for ourselves. I need to love and pamper myself as much as I dote on my son. And part of that pampering is to love my new body as it is now.

I was never the skinny girl. I am curvy--always have been and always will be. There is nothing wrong with this. I was always insecure of the fact though. I valued skinny so much because I felt it was the most aesthetically balanced look. But getting a waistline that has grown from 27" to 32" and realising my bum has gained about 8" did something to me. I cracked. I looked at my clothes and just cracked.

I cannot dress like I used to and that was depressing.

But this year I am changing my mindset. I will get fit but on the road to the body I want, I will love myself and give myself more love than I always did.

I started today. I aim to keep at it until I get to that point where my health becomes the reason for my mad race to lose weight, rather than my aesthetic ideal.

To day one of owning fabulous!

One year. Really?

I remember feeling the same way in August when I marvelled at the fact that my last blog entry was in July. Today I'm recognizing the fact it's been a year since I became a mom.

It has been a very difficult year. Growing as a couple is made doubly (at least!) hard with a child. Chances to discuss the day's events, plans, etc. are cut short constantly or put on hold indefinitely. Nearly everything revolves around the baby. We have been very fortunate to have friends who still have us over even when we have "extra baggage" in tow.

Making it all work

Today we made a rather impulsive but we believe soundly-judged decision to purchase a condominium. To rent out, not for us to live in.

I confessed to the husband that its not quite up to par with what I like in terms of workmanship but the income is necessary at this point and that would give us what we need. We've been guided throughout all our choices; we have every faith that this is the direction we need to go to get to our goals for our family.

July. Really?

I'm honestly a little upset that my last post was in July. Another month of not blogging after I swore I would do so at least once a week.

Well today is Mommy Day and the topic of the day is Mommy Dressing and De-stressing.

Last Love

This post (https://www.facebook.com/FatMumSlim/posts/10151795553321522:0) by Chantelle, a.k.a. Fat Mum Slim, made me think of the boys--yes, boys--I thought would be my last.

For the record, my husband was not my first love. I had three boyfriends before I met him and the one before him was the one I thought I'd be spending forever with.

I'm not knocking the romance of marrying one's first love off its pedestal, but I have since come to the conclusion that the important thing is to commit to the one who will be the last. Romantic love, that is. And that is what my husband is to me.

So apparently this is it

I now firmly believe that mothers really ought to have support groups. Really.

I shared some thoughts I've been having to a group of ladies, nearly all complete strangers, in my mommy group on Facebook. And it seems my suspicions were correct--this is indeed me fighting hard to stop myself from falling into postpartum depression (PPD).

My thoughts are too disorganized at the moment to share any further thoughts on the matter. Not to mention the research a post such as this would require.

This is just to say, at least for now, that mothers out there who feel they may be overreacting to things, find themselves randomly bursting in tears, feeling they want to just tell the world to sod off and then curl up in bed...speak up! Talk to someone.

Remember you are not crazy. You're simply being a mom, and mothers are human too.

Mid-year Celebration

We have survived six months. My son has reached a milestone--the first half of his first year of life has gone by in what feels like an instant and at the same time, millennia.

This tiny human. He was born in December and with two mighty totems in his name, he literally set the household in an uproar, especially since his arrival was technically two weeks early.

Balancing Act (There is no "one or the other" Part II)

Some of our pets are misbehaving and I claim full responsibility for their atrocious behavior.

When I told them they were about to have a two-legged new sibling, I did not count on how much of my time and energy would go into caring for a tiny human being. Well, not so tiny now that he's approaching his third month. Nor did I anticipate that my four-legged children expected things would be the same, just as though another four-legged sibling had arrived.

The ones I reared from their first/second month of kitten-/puppy-hood were the hardest hit. Thankfully, all four who are most attached to me have decided to take it upon themselves to be my sons co-caregivers. I can't say this has always been helpful with the exception of Kuro's penchant for infant foot warming. Baxter's tongue has been warned to stay away from the baby's feet and Yuki tersely informed that the new brother is not a toy. As for Kaito, I am only too glad he finds it sufficient to be allowed to sleep two feet from where we rest during the day. The others I reared or co-reared with the dogs can't care less as long as they are given their daily dose of stroking.

When dealing with perpetual toddlers one must employ a great deal of patience and understanding. I did realize that the method employed by local actor, Ryan Agoncillo with his wife's adopted child works well with cats and dogs too.

So in case it might work for others out there, struggling to parent cats, dogs, an humans, here are the things we have learned so far:

1. Give them "titles". No need to get fancy: simply calling them babysitters usually works well. In our case, we have the upstairs sitters (the cats) and downstairs sitters (the dogs). They automatically set their own boundaries. All you need think of is to remind them that, because their role is so important, they MUST behave properly.

2. The parent whose attention is not on the human child should spend quality time with the non-human ones. Give them the hugs and cuddles they are accustomed to receiving. And then give them extra hugs and cuddles. A food treat or two helps a lot too.

3. Allow them (heavily guarded) time with the human child. Let them sniff the feet--the safest end of a defenseless infant for them to inspect. Then gently remind them the baby is too small or young for them to do more than just that. A tap on the nose is enough to ward off attempts to sniff higher.

4. Give them privileges. Yuki, for example, always has time alone with me when I am about to bathe. I call her to join me I the bathroom and we spend five minutes just tossing around her empty toilet paper roll.

These pets ask for so little that I would not feel any ounce of remorse should I shame a parent to two- and four-legged children for neglecting one for the other. As it is, I already feel guilt for my inability to give them as much time as I'd like. But they seem to understand and are coping because they have a very important secret weapon:

They know they are loved and wanted. No matter what.

Month One: We survived!

I officially firmly believe that this is the reason why there are parents who constantly post photos commemorating every single little thing their children do: it's a sign of survival.

Believe me, if I didn't think it would be crazy, I would do the same thing.

To speak of every little detail and take commemorative images of my son's first everything is like telling the world: I'm here! I was able to survive what I thought to be impossible to get out of alive!

The most demanding boss

I've honestly never had a boss, so this is new to me, completely new.

My work hours are so erratic I can't say definitively when I can take my meals. And when I do, I have to eat like a turkey: gobble gobble gobble. Sometimes I don't remember chewing or breathing between bites.

His fair share

I feel it must be said, too, that my husband has also grown and changed by leaps and bounds these past weeks.

He is no longer just a husband but is coming into his own as a father the same way I am becoming a mother.

Wife to Wife and Mother

Thursdays, I said, are about journeys and I am three weeks into my journey towards motherhood.

I say "towards" because although I am already a mother by virtue of having given birth to offspring, I have much to learn still about being a parent. I've presented my ideals and ideas how I do and don't want to go about things. Nothing is fixed though and theory shan't always be effective in practice. I'm prepared to accept that too.

My son

He is almost three weeks old.

He continues to make me paranoid over whether or not I'm doing the right things.

I constantly wonder what he's thinking and how he's feeling.

This Mother's Job

No, I am not throwing jabs at mothers who work outside the home. Let's get that thought out of the way now. My own mother worked outside the home. I know what it was like for her and what it was like for me as a child.

This is purely and solely about me and my experience thus far.

Motherhood Week One

As in my son has been home for a week and two days. We are exhausted, sore--normal deliveries have stitches too!--and most importantly, learning about and getting to know each other.

I've been doing my best to balance my household chores with caring for my little one. Oh I'm sure there are those who will think I'm crazy for doing so. In fact, I have heard many "don'ts" that I, with all due respect, think are crazy.

A very happy Christmas indeed

Just a quick one to say that, alongside the scheduled (yes, we shamelessly pre-scheduled a post) entry for the day, this is my official blog birth announcement:

My son, Llewelyn, by the Lord's Grace and Mercy, was safely delivered (normally) last 20 December 2012, making him a herald of the Apocalypse.

(Sorry, couldn't help the jab at the whole Mayan calendar hooha. LOL)

Though it is most certainly true that this is the end of our world as we know it. Parenting, here we come!